This is Fishy just cribbing off of Soup's comment since it reminded me of something as I was stalking the week!
Adding to what was already mentioned about the fire event, I noticed an issue when it came to drawing conclusions for the players; there was a mod tag that stuck out to me that was along the lines of, "yeah the fire definitely was set deliberately". While I can see that maybe you guys wanted to finish up the event (since it did seem to drag on for quite a bit) and maybe the conclusion was very obvious, but it seemed to cut off a lot of room for discussion because it's basically laid out to everyone.
Also just agreeing that you should let players choose their own actions. I'm not saying it's bad to lay out what's in the setting, but the way it's written sometimes seems to assume that a character will do something. For example, in this tag about the foam in the firetruck, that assumes that the players are going to explore the firetruck, which sort of cuts off any other alternative solutions that the players might come up with. Instead, it comes off as implicitly saying that the players have to try using the foam because nothing else will work.
Lastly, just be careful of using the general 'you'. Sometimes it can come off as awkward/godmoddy because not all characters may react the same way or observe the same things! One of the lines I found during the mission was "everyone has the feeling you're being followed", which... I would understand maybe if the stalker was being really noisy and stomping around, maybe everyone would notice but ICly some characters that are more oblivious may not actually notice if it's more subtle. It cuts off ways for characters to react differently because it would feel awkward on the player end to contradict the meta.
Anyways, these are just minor points I noticed and I'm definitely still interested in the concept and setting! I look forward to seeing how things will be tweaked in the main round, and hopefully I can manage to join you guys there!
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Adding to what was already mentioned about the fire event, I noticed an issue when it came to drawing conclusions for the players; there was a mod tag that stuck out to me that was along the lines of, "yeah the fire definitely was set deliberately". While I can see that maybe you guys wanted to finish up the event (since it did seem to drag on for quite a bit) and maybe the conclusion was very obvious, but it seemed to cut off a lot of room for discussion because it's basically laid out to everyone.
Also just agreeing that you should let players choose their own actions. I'm not saying it's bad to lay out what's in the setting, but the way it's written sometimes seems to assume that a character will do something. For example, in this tag about the foam in the firetruck, that assumes that the players are going to explore the firetruck, which sort of cuts off any other alternative solutions that the players might come up with. Instead, it comes off as implicitly saying that the players have to try using the foam because nothing else will work.
Lastly, just be careful of using the general 'you'. Sometimes it can come off as awkward/godmoddy because not all characters may react the same way or observe the same things! One of the lines I found during the mission was "everyone has the feeling you're being followed", which... I would understand maybe if the stalker was being really noisy and stomping around, maybe everyone would notice but ICly some characters that are more oblivious may not actually notice if it's more subtle. It cuts off ways for characters to react differently because it would feel awkward on the player end to contradict the meta.
Anyways, these are just minor points I noticed and I'm definitely still interested in the concept and setting! I look forward to seeing how things will be tweaked in the main round, and hopefully I can manage to join you guys there!